Kase's 1st hair cut

Kase (18 months this week!) finally had his first hair cut this morning! He's had pretty long hair, but I didnt want to cut it yet! I attempted to trim it myself a few months ago, but I made him look like dumb and dumber.

The hair cut was rather traumatic. I tried to hold him at first, but he went nuts! They actually told me to go and hide, and let them just deal with it! They got about half way through (so it seemed to be working!), but asked me to come back and hold him for the end. I took some pictures with my cell phone; sorry for the horrible quality!

He has no idea whats about to happen. haha

This is when they told me to hide, and I tried to sneak a picture

The owner of the Salon went and took this one for me! He looks so miserable! Poor guyThey finished off his hair cut like this!

Checking out the new do in the mirror

Happy to be home and eating goldfish! He crashed shortly after this!

Are you ready for the kids to start school?!

I know lots of people started school this week, but my kiddos dont start til next Monday. My husband, who's a teacher, went back yesterday. Am I ready for the school year to start? I've had a husband and FOUR kids at home all summer; do I need to answer that?! No, Im kidding, but I do have some thoughts on the school year starting! Here are my thoughts; just in case you're interested!

* I love the summer. We ventured to Florida, went to Austin, and the kids had some church camps. These are all things we don't really get to do during the school year. We also spent some time in Dallas with my family there, and usually we only go during our Christmas break

*It's super nice to have my husband at home all day; considering we have 4 kids. Its nice to have the help, as well as a break, when I need it!

*I'm really not sure if a job came along, that paid more money, would be worth losing my husband for the summer!

*Chores and cooking pretty much went out the window over the summer.

*I think we're the only ones that still dont give our kids a "summer bedtime", because no matter what, half of them are up by 7! (And thats just a disaster to let them stay up late, knowing they're going to wake early and be cranky all the time!)

*I am definitely ready to get back to menu planning and cooking again. I haven't been to the store, and we have nothing to eat or cook right now!

*I am ready for all of us to get back to a routine and schedule; thus, HOORAY for school!

I bought a pregnancy test, "just in case"

Well, now that I have your attention!

For the past two weeks or so, I've been feeling nauseous and I even tossed my cookies one night!That is completely abnormal for me, and the only other time i've felt like that, was my previous pregnancy! SOOOOOOOOOO, I thought instead of freaking out, I better just buy a dagum test and get it over with.

For those of you that dont personally know me, I have 4 kids already. Yes thats right. I feel like Im right behind Michelle Dugger; even though, she has considerably more than me. Sorry if this is TMI for the fellas, but I am on birth control, but we all know NOTHING is 100%!

I bought the dumb thing, and attempted to tell Edwin. I started to cry because I was so overwhelmed and scared at the thought of FIVE. (oh by the way,;my youngest is 14 months old, so this would NOT be the time; if there was such a thing as a right time anyways!)

My husband had just mowed the law, than exercised, so he was already hot and sweaty to begin with! He had to sit down, understandably, and quickly said, "please hurry up and take that test!"

We are not pregnant. Im glad Im not pregnant. If this was in 2 years, I might have been sad that it was negative; even though, that would mean FIVE. My husband is FOR SURE DONE. Poor thing thought he was done, than I came into his life and wanted a baby of my own.

Life is full of surprises and uncertainties; as we all know. Sometimes its easy and fun, and other times its heart wrenching and just flat out difficult. Life of a family of 6, is just that. It is certainly not easy all the time; we can't afford to do much (poor kids just want McDonald's sometimes, and I cant tell you the last time we even went! ha). but our days are full of laughter (and screams), snuggles, and lots of family. Would it be so bad to have 5? just sayin...

Florida Vaca

So we had a vacation planned for 3 weeks at my parents condo in Forida! At first I thought 3 weeks was going to be UHMAZING! After 1 1/2 weeks, we realized it was just too long with 4 kids and headed home early. Lets be honest, 3 weeks would have been awesome without kids! We could have just layed out all day! We did have a great time; enjoyed the beach, the pool, and some good outlet shopping! Its always good to be back home though. Of course I'm planning out next Dallas road trip...

My baby is 1! A year in Review

I cannot believe that a year has gone by. So much has changed, and Kase has grown so much! I am SO thankful that God has brought us to this point. It was really, really difficult in the beginning. Kase struggled with reflux and colic, and NEVER slept. I wish I knew why some babies are easier than others, but count your blessings if thats you! Kase is such a joy now (although hates church! ha), and LOVES his family to pieces. He cant get enough of his siblings, and they can't get enough of him. We are so blessed.

One of my last prego pictures (sorry the picture is blurry)

Kase Holden 6lbs 11 oz.

First outing; mama's getting a pedicure!

Happy birthday sweet boy! We love you so much!

Diary of a non sleeping baby

We had the joy of going to Florida for a few days; just my husband and baby (and me!). My grandmother recently got re married, and the whole family was coming together to give her a big 90th birthday bash! 90 and a newly wed! We had a great time, even though it was short and quick, and I'm so glad we got to go! It REALLY stirred my love for the beach, and a part of me would love to live there.

anywho...

I was terrified that the travel and having Kase in our hotel room would ruin the sleep training! We didnt get to bed til midnight the first night, but he slept the night! The next night Kase he slept the night again! He DID wake up at 5am; I just nursed him at that point, and we all slept til 9:30. I couldn't believe it! He did great and I'm so proud of him!

but wait...

He didn't do so great last night, once we got home. He woke up a few hours after he went to sleep (which he hasn't done in 2 weeks!), and cried for 1 1/2 hours until he finally gave up. Boo!!! I"m sure the travel has thrown him off a little, so we'll see how he does tonight!

Diary of a non sleeping baby; slept the night?!

Here's the deal people. Apparently Kase just has a harder time sleeping than some other babies. I've heard from lots of people, that it takes 3 days; maybe 1 week. Maybe this 1 week mark will be a turnaround?! I dunno.

On a huge positive note, I have not gotten out of my bed in 1 week (during the night I mean!). He's also making it til around 2 or 3 am; having a crying spell, then sleeping til morning. That in itself is a huge accomplishment; so, I bought myself a pair of shoes.

He HAS slept through the night twice this past week. APPARENTLY, he did again last night! I put apparently in all caps, for the following reasons:

The two nights he apparently slept through the night, were the 2 nights my husband was in charge of the monitor. When I've had the monitor, he had his crying spell (anywhere from 1-2 hours!) in the middle of the night. SOOOOOOOO.....

is Kase magically sleeping through the night, when he knows my husband is on duty?! That would totally be uncool. When Im on duty, I'm still losing sleep watching him on the video monitor, making sure he's not head banging on his crib.

Or (the more likely reason), is my husband leaving the volume off on the monitor?! He said last night he woke up a bunch of times and checked the monitor. Every time he woke up, he said Kase was sleeping, AND he checked the volume to make sure it was up a little.

I dont know what's going on. Maybe its just completely random that he's slept through the night those 2 times. Maybe a little sleeping fairy is coming in our room, and turning the monitor off so WE can sleep. Not sure.

(Forida tomorrow! whew hew!)

Diary of a non sleeping baby; weekend update

On Friday night, my husband took the monitor and was going to watch Kase that night. Even though I wasn't waking up and dealing with a baby, I STILL woke up a few times out of habit! Yack.



I got the baby when he woke up in the morning, (full of poo AGAIN! Poor guy has had some tummy trouble past few days and is going 5 times a day!), and had no idea how he did during the night! When my husband woke up, he told me he slept THROUGH the night! Wha?! I teared up; I couldn't believe it!



The next two nights, he didn't sleep through the night, but he did sleep better than usual! Saturday night, he slept all the way until 5 (or technically 4, because the time change?!), cried for 45 minutes and went back to sleep.

Sunday night he slept until 2 and cried for about an hour, then went back to sleep until 8.

So this is still progress. He hasn't completely figured it out, but SO MUCH progress! We leave on Thursday for Florida for a quick weekend trip, so I'm crossing my fingers all this doesn't get thrown out the window!

So that's my weekend update! Stay tuned...

Diary of a non sleeping baby; part 3

Who said the third night was the easiest?! Totally wasn't last night. He cried all night, and had a really hard time settling down. BUT, I never got out of my bed; again. Whew hew for me! Lots of people told me it only took their babies 3 nights, but I guess that's not the case for us! WWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYY?!

It's quite possible there were a few factors, that made him really upset during the night. When he awoke this morning, he was completely freezing! With all his moving around he doesnt stay under his blanket, and his poor legs and feet were so cold! I usually put socks on him, but I guess I forgot last night. As if that wasn't enough....

he was full of poop! ahhh! I felt so bad! I mean, how long had he been poopy?! It wasn't crusty or anything so I know he wasn't poopy ALL night, but he could have been for a long time! (gross huh).

So that was our night. Lots of crying, lots of poop, lots of no sleep.

I THINK the husband is taking the monitor tonight, and is going on watch duty; so that should help me get some sleep tonight.

On another note; I understand some people just close the door to their babies room, and ignore them until morning, but I can't do that! One of the reasons I watch him on the monitor when he's awake and crying, is just to reassure myself that he's okay. It's so emotional and I'm dealing with lack of sleep, that I just need that reassurance to help me deal with it. Especially now that he's sitting and standing, I would hate for him to bang into the wood and start bleeding or something. Or what if he throws up, because he's crying so much (which our Dr. said not to be surprised if he does!)?! Watching him on the monitor allows me to watch for these things.

You understand, right?

A part of me can't believe I've been able to make it almost 10 months, with waking every 2-3 hours. Then there's the other part of me, that doesnt know any different! It's just been life, and I've learned to cope. Can you believe I don't take naps either?! I think the last nap I had, was when he was 2 weeks! I actually tried to nap earlier this week (after day one of letting him cry it out), but I just can't ever fall asleep. It is what it is.

So we'll see how tonight goes; hoping for less crying and for Kase to figure this sleeping thing out! Come on Kase; we're all pulling for you!

ps. I got 13 comments on the Part 1 post. Where did all of you go?!

Diary of a non sleeping baby; part 2

(no mama; I did not eat the chocolate)

Part 2

This post isn't going to be nearly as long as the previous one. First of all, I want to thank all of you; friends, family, twitter and blog followers, for your comments and encouragement yesterday. Many of your comments made me laugh (a zillion pacifiers in the crib eh?! The emergency room?!), and many of your comments made me so thankful for support, and the realization that non of us are in this alone! And Katie...I'm SOOOO not trying to scare you! Besides, isn't your baby already a great sleeper?!

Moving on...

Kase was obviously exhausted yesterday from not sleeping the night before, and had some great naps! I think at 5:30 he was still napping, and I went and got him up! Since he took such a late nap, he stayed up until 9 last night. Which honestly, I really like it when he stays up late. Why? Because WHEN he does wake up for the first time, it might be midnight or later, instead of like 10 if he goes to bed at 7? Make sense?!

Kase actually fell asleep while Edwin was holding him watching TV! The little guy just closed his eyes, I put him in his crib, and that was that. Yippie!

After eating some snicker doodle cookies and watching Modern Family (greatest show ever; well, almost) with the husband, I conked out myself. (It just struck me as a little strange, that I"m giving ya'll a play by play of my night. Now you know what a glamorous and exciting life I lead. haha)

I heard Kase cry a few times but he quickly fell back asleep. Or at least I think he did. I remember being so tired, that I could wake up to watch him on the monitor. So maybe he did a lot of crying, and Im just not aware?!

He made it all the way until 3 (whew hew!), which was the "im sitting up and really made at mom" crying time. He cried from 3-4:30 straight (who said they will fall asleep after like 30 minutes?! liars).

Sometimes I turn the monitor up because I want my husband to hear him, and do something about it. Isn't that horrible?! I don't think I REALLY mean to do it, but a very sleepy and emotional night time me, goes AWOL during the night. I almost woke him up, and asked him to pat him a little, but I stood my ground and left him alone.

So that was his crying time and he fell back asleep, and woke up again at 7:15. Im sure he would have slept later, but our alarms go off at 6:45 and there are 3 kids banging around getting ready for school! It doesnt matter how many times I say to get ready quietly; I know they try. Or maybe they don't. Our oldest is by FAR the loudest. He does everything by banging around. Seriously. I guess it is, what it is.

I feel good this morning. Even though he had that long spat of crying, I never got out of my bed. That's the first time in 9 1/2 months, that I haven't moved! I feel proud of myself. It seems to be getting better (yay!); although, I fully expect another few hours of crying tonight. We shall see!

You know what scares me?! That we FINALLY might have all this sleeping stuff figured out, and we're going to Florida next weekend. I'm pretty sure Kase will either be in a pack and play, or in our bed at the Hotel, and that may throw all this out the window?! I dont want to think about that. Hopefully not.

Ready for night 3...

Diary of a non sleeping baby

I realize I haven't blogged in a really long time. I've attempted to keep up with my cooking blog, so if you don't already follow, go check it out and give me some food love.

I decided to begin blogging about our journey to get our 9 1/2 month old to sleep through the night. Yes, because he still doesnt. If you have the time, come and read my posts. Laugh with me, cry with me, support me, love me!

Kase has never been a good sleeper. From day 1, he woke up all night and would not sleep anywhere but my arms. With this being my first baby and all, I did what I knew to do and have just tried to survive. My husband has supported me and my decisions, since Kase is my first and last bambino. Now, that doesnt mean he's agreed with my decisions! But I'm the mom, AKA; boss,right?!

Kase still wakes up every 2-3 hours. Occasionally he'll sleep 4, but that is super rare. Some nights, when he's sick or teething, he'll literally cry every hour and just not sleep. What do I do? I usually nurse him.

Disclaimer- I am not asking for your advice or your opinions, that everything I've done is wrong, and thats why he still wont sleep. :) I obivously realize some of my actions have led to this point.

I've received lots of advice; "ignore him all night, pat him back to sleep, let him sleep with you, do what you have to do". Everybody has a different opinion, and I think in the end, you do what you think is best for you and your family. Well, I think I'm to the point that dealing with him every 2 hours is NOT best for our family anymore.

Like I said, I've tried to just survive. It's very emotional and obviously tiring, to deal with waking up every 2 hours. I know that if I just nurse him, he'll go back to sleep; so thats what I've done. A few months ago we, I, wanted to try the "pat back to sleep method", so I did. It seemed to go pretty well, and for a few days straight, I didnt pick him up at all. Then he got sick, and all that went out the window.

That brings me to my next point. My excuses. Apparently I have tons of them. I've said Im going to let him cry it out, as soon as he's not sick. He seems to get sick like every other week, so I always feel like its a bad time to ignore him during the night. Then there's the whole issue that I just get so tired and emotional at night, I just can't handle it. Now that he's older, we've run into the issues of him sitting up and standing up in his crib. Would have been much easier to deal with, when he just laid there, right?!

I don't mean to make excuses, but I know thats what they are. Now Im in this situation of having an almost 10 month old, that wants to nurse all night and be comforted by his mama. Comforted by mama; I love that he needs and wants me. Maybe thats a whole seperate blog post?! There's nothing like the bond between a mama and baby. Can I get an Amen? I am so thankful that I had the chance to have a baby, and a husband that was willing to go down that road again for me. My other 3 kids, are my kids. But I didnt birth them, and I so longed to have a biological child. Maybe even another; I kid, I kid. I think my husband and I would both die or go insane if that happened.

All that leads up to last night. Last night Kase woke up 1 1/2 hours after falling asleep. Why can't he just stay asleep?! I just think to myself; what the heck are you waking up for?! So, Husband took the baby monitor and went in the family room. He said we're going to let him cry, and you can go to sleep so you wont hear him, and know whats going on.

Of course I couldn't sleep. Even with the door closed I could hear him cry. I sat there in bed, half tramatized, but trusted my husband in dealing with it. He cried for 1 1/2 straight hours and fell asleep. So I finally went to sleep, but he woke up again 2 hours later. He put himself back to sleep, but woke up again and literally cried til morning.

So we didnt sleep last night. BUT, I'm proud of us! It wasn't nearly as emotional, as the nights I"ve held him crying, and tried to get him to sleep.

Here were the problems with last night:

We don't have a bumper around the crib anymore, because months ago he began pulling it down and on top of himself. So last night his legs kept sticking out of the slats, and getting stuck! I went up to his room a few times to get his legs unstuck, because I felt it was dangerous. That just really pissed him off, to have me in the room and then leave. So we're going to figure something out about that. His crib is solid wood in the back so the bumper wont tie back there. Im thinking I'll probably cut the bumper, and have it just tie around the sides and the front.

Other than that, he just sat and cried. I couldnt beleive he didnt wear himself out, and sleep more. Maybe tonight he'll figure it out, or maybe he'll just cry all night again....

Stay tuned.

Family Pictures/Kids

In no way shape or form, do I apologize for the mass amount of images! Thanks to Tasha Pool for our family pictures!

These pictures were taken by Tasha Pool at Homeshade Photography